One day Suryapal Singh was getting bored and didn't know what to do. So he decided to kidnap a child.He went over to the play ground and saw plenty of little kids running around.He picked out one little boy and went over and grabbed him.Suryapal wrote a note as the following:
To whom it may concern:
I have just kidnapped your little boy and I want one lakh rupees in a paper bag under the mango tree at gandhiji park at noon.
Sincerely
Suryapal
After he was finished .He pinned the note to the child's shirt and sent him home. The next day Suryapal went to the mango tree at noon and there was a brown paper bag. All the money was there but there was a little note. It said:
Dear Suryapal Singh:
Your money is all there I just wanted to know how you could do this to another Singh??.
Satyapal Singh
Monday, April 19, 2010
Hanging Praful
Praful decided to commit suicide by hanging himself from a tree in the park.
A few days later, a man was walking with his dog and spotted him hanging from the tree. He asks Praful what he was doing and he replies, "I'm hanging myself." "You're supposed to put the loop around your neck, not your waist," said the onlooker. "I tried that," replied Praful, "but I couldn't breathe."
A few days later, a man was walking with his dog and spotted him hanging from the tree. He asks Praful what he was doing and he replies, "I'm hanging myself." "You're supposed to put the loop around your neck, not your waist," said the onlooker. "I tried that," replied Praful, "but I couldn't breathe."
Cant find Jesus!
A drunk stumbles down into the river and stands next to the Minister. The Minister turns, notices the old drunk and says,"Are you ready to find Jesus?"
The drunk looks back and says, "Yes sir, I am."
The Minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up.
"Have you found Jesus?" the Minister asked.
"No, I didn't!" said the drunk.
The Minister then dunks him under for a quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now Mister, have you found Jesus?"
"No, I did not!" said the drunk again.
Disgusted, the Minister holds the man under for at least 1 minute this time, brings him up and demands, "For the grace of God, have you found Jesus yet?!"
The old drunk wipes his eyes and pleads, "Are you sure this is where he fell in??"
The drunk looks back and says, "Yes sir, I am."
The Minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up.
"Have you found Jesus?" the Minister asked.
"No, I didn't!" said the drunk.
The Minister then dunks him under for a quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now Mister, have you found Jesus?"
"No, I did not!" said the drunk again.
Disgusted, the Minister holds the man under for at least 1 minute this time, brings him up and demands, "For the grace of God, have you found Jesus yet?!"
The old drunk wipes his eyes and pleads, "Are you sure this is where he fell in??"
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Praful in heaven
On their way to a justice of the peace to get married,Praful and his girlfriend had a fatal car accident. They found themselves sitting outside Heaven's Gate waiting on St.Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wondered if they could possibly get married in Heaven.
St. Peter finally showed up and they asked him. St. Peter said, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has asked. "Let me go find out." and he left.
The couple sat and waited for an answer...for a couple of months...and they began to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together forever?...."
St. Peter returned after yet another month, looking some what tired. "Yes," he informed the couple, "you can get married in Heaven."
"Great,"said the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"
St. Peter, red-faced, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.
"What's wrong?", asked the frightened couple.
"COME ON!" St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it will take me to find a lawyer??"
St. Peter finally showed up and they asked him. St. Peter said, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has asked. "Let me go find out." and he left.
The couple sat and waited for an answer...for a couple of months...and they began to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together forever?...."
St. Peter returned after yet another month, looking some what tired. "Yes," he informed the couple, "you can get married in Heaven."
"Great,"said the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"
St. Peter, red-faced, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.
"What's wrong?", asked the frightened couple.
"COME ON!" St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it will take me to find a lawyer??"
Praful-7
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Pallimukk got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their church benches and talking about their lives, their families, etc.
Suddenly, the Devil himself appeared at the front of the congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon everyone was evacuated from the Church, except for Praful who sat calmly in his church bench, not moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
Praful "Yes, sure, i do."
Satan -"Aren't you afraid of me?"
Praful-"Nope, sure ain't,".
Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
Praful-"I've been married to your sister for over 20 years."
Suddenly, the Devil himself appeared at the front of the congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon everyone was evacuated from the Church, except for Praful who sat calmly in his church bench, not moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
Praful "Yes, sure, i do."
Satan -"Aren't you afraid of me?"
Praful-"Nope, sure ain't,".
Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
Praful-"I've been married to your sister for over 20 years."
Praful-6
Praful arrives at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted. St. Peter is reading through the Big Book to see if the guy's name is written in it. After several minutes, St. Peter closes the book, furrows his brow, and says, "I'm sorry, I don't see your name written in the Book."
Praful-"How current is your copy?" he asks.
St. Peter-"I get a download every ten minutes," St. Peter replies, "why do you ask?"
Praful-"I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I was always the stubborn type. It was not until my death was immanent that I cried out to God, so my name probably hasn't arrived to your copy yet."
St. Peter-"I'm glad to hear that," "but while we're waiting for the update to come through, can tell me about a really good deed that you did in your life?"
Praful-"Humm, well there was this one time when I was drivin' down a road and I saw a giant group of biker gang members harassing this poor girl. I slowed down, and sure enough, there they were, about 20 of 'em torturing this poor woman. Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked up to the leader of the gang. He was a huge guy; 6-foot-4, 260 pounds, with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ears. As I walked up to the leader, the bikers formed a circle around me and told me to get lost or I'd be next.
Praful continued-"So I ripped the leader's chain out of his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, "Leave this poor innocent girl alone! You're all a bunch of SICK, deranged animals! Go home before I really teach you a lesson in PAIN!"
St. Peter, duly impressed, says "Wow! When did this happen?"
Praful-"About three minutes ago."
Praful-"How current is your copy?" he asks.
St. Peter-"I get a download every ten minutes," St. Peter replies, "why do you ask?"
Praful-"I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I was always the stubborn type. It was not until my death was immanent that I cried out to God, so my name probably hasn't arrived to your copy yet."
St. Peter-"I'm glad to hear that," "but while we're waiting for the update to come through, can tell me about a really good deed that you did in your life?"
Praful-"Humm, well there was this one time when I was drivin' down a road and I saw a giant group of biker gang members harassing this poor girl. I slowed down, and sure enough, there they were, about 20 of 'em torturing this poor woman. Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked up to the leader of the gang. He was a huge guy; 6-foot-4, 260 pounds, with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ears. As I walked up to the leader, the bikers formed a circle around me and told me to get lost or I'd be next.
Praful continued-"So I ripped the leader's chain out of his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, "Leave this poor innocent girl alone! You're all a bunch of SICK, deranged animals! Go home before I really teach you a lesson in PAIN!"
St. Peter, duly impressed, says "Wow! When did this happen?"
Praful-"About three minutes ago."
The biggest lie
Madhu sir passed by a group of 10th std students sitting in the school ground.
Madhu sir-"Good Evening, boys. What are you doing?"
Suryapal-"Nothing much,"We're just seeing who can tell the biggest lie about his sex life."
Madhu Sir-"Boys, boys, boys!" intoned Madhu sir. "I'm shocked. When I was your age, I never thought about sex at all."
The boys looked at each other and then said, "You win,Sir!"
Madhu sir-"Good Evening, boys. What are you doing?"
Suryapal-"Nothing much,"We're just seeing who can tell the biggest lie about his sex life."
Madhu Sir-"Boys, boys, boys!" intoned Madhu sir. "I'm shocked. When I was your age, I never thought about sex at all."
The boys looked at each other and then said, "You win,Sir!"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
