Suryapal-19

Suryapal-"Dad, I don't want to go to school today."
Dad-"Why not, son?"
Suryapal-"Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the next day."
Dad-"But why don't you want to go today?"
Suryapal-"Because our Physical Training teacher died yesterday!"

Suryapal vs Praful 2

Praful says to Suryapal, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."
Suryapal says, "If I guess right, will you give me one among them?"
Praful says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!

Suryapal's Flashback

When I was young I didn't like going for weddings anniversaries.
My grandmother would tell me, "You're next!!"
However, she stopped doing that after I started saying the same thing to her at funerals

Suryapal-18

Suryapal who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by Praful. Suryapal got out of the car to apologize and offered Praful a drink from a bottle of whisky. Praful was glad to have a drink.
"Go on," said Suryapal, "have another drink."
Praful drank gratefully. "But don't you want one, too?" he asked Suryapal.
"Perhaps," replied Suryapal, "after the police have gone."

The psychos

A psychologist was doing his normal morning rounds, and he entered a patient's room to find his patient sitting on the floor, sawing at a piece of wood with the side of his hand. Meanwhile, another patient was in the room, hanging from the ceiling by his feet.The doctor asked his patient what he was doing, sitting on the floor.

The patient replied in an irritated fashion, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?"

The doctor- "And what is the guy hanging from the ceiling doing?"
Patient-"Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a light bulb."

The doctor asks, "If he's your friend, don't you think you should get him down from there before he hurts himself?"

Patient-"What? And work in the dark?"

Praful-5

Praful answers the telephone and it's an Emergency Room doctor.

The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, & I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms & both legs, & will need help eating & going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."

Praful says, "My God. What's the good news?"

The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."

The millionaire

A young man once asked an old rich man how he made his money.

The old man fingered his expensive wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last Rupee."

"I invested that Rupee in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten Rupees."

"The next morning, I invested those ten Rupees in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 Rupees. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of Rs800."

"Then my wife's father died and left us Twenty lakh rupees."

Suryapal-17

Suryapal walks into a bar wearing an Arsenal jersey and carrying a little dog that also has an Arsenal jersey . Suryapal says to the bartender, "Can my dog and I watch Arsenal's game here? My TV at home broke and my dog and I want to see the game."

The bartender - normally, dogs are not allowed in the bar, but it is not terribly busy in here, so you and your dog can have a seat at the end of the bar. But, if there is any trouble with you or your dog, I'll have to ask you to leave.

Suryapal agrees and he and his dog start watching the game. Pretty soon Arsenal shoots a goal and the little dog jumps on the bar and walks down the bar and gives everyone a high five.

The bartender-"Hey, that's cool! What does he do if the opponent scores a goal?"

Suryapal - "I think I am here because the opponent scored a goal"

Suryapal-16

Suryapal: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Suryapal: good, because i didn't do my homework.

Dogs are better

If your dog was barking at the back door and your wife knocking on the front door who would you let in first?
The dog. at least he would shut up once he is in

Elephants grave

Satyapal: Why are you crying?
Suryapal: The elephant is dead.
Satyapal: Was he your pet?
Suryapal: No, but I'm the one who must dig his grave

Suryapal-15

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Suryapal stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Suryapal?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

Suryapal-14

Suryapal was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor Praful peered over the fence. Interested in what his friend was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Surya?"

"My goldfish died," replied Suryapal tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

Praful was concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Suryapal patted down the last heap of earth, then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."

For the sick

Praful and his mother were in church when he started to feel ill.
Praful-"Mommy, can we leave now?" .

Mom-"No." .

Praful-"I think I'm gonna puke."

Mom-"Well go out the front door, walk around the back of the church and puke behind a bush."

A few moments later he returned to his seat.

Mom-"Did you puke?"

Praful-"Yes."

Mom-"How could you have gone all the way around the church, puke and be back here so soon?"

Praful-"I didn't even have to go outside. They have a box right by the front door that says 'for the sick'."

Suryapal-13

Suryapal walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.

He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "Im having a baby ."

With big round eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She said, "He sure is."

Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."

With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked...
"Then why did you eat him??"

Suryapal-12

The class assignment was to write about something unusual
that happened during the past week.
Suryapal got up to read his.
Suryapal-"Praful fell in the well last week"
Teacher-"Oh my god...." "Is he all right now?"
Suryapal-"He must be,". "He stopped yelling for help yesterday."

Cure the blindness

A little blind boy goes up to his mom and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?"
His mom replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning."
So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little boy was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little boy's eyes, wrapped a bandage around his head, and took him to bed.
The following morning the little boy stumbled into his moms bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again."
So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little boy was getting more and more excited. Once they were off, the little boy said "But mummy, I still can't see."
To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

Suryapal-11

Suryapal's friends used to tease him saying that he is as stupid as a donkey.And they used to call him "Jackass"
To prove it, sometimes they offer Suryapal his choice between a Rs5coin and a Rs1coin. He always takes the Rs1coin - they say - because it's bigger.

One day after Suryapal grabbed the Rs 1coin, Praful got him off to one side and said, "Surya, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know that Rs5coin is worth more than the Rs1coin. Are you grabbing the Rs 1coin because it's bigger, or what?"
And Suryapal said, "Well, if I took the Rs 5coin, they'd quit doing it!"

Suryapal-10

Suryapal went to his dad, who was working in the yard.He asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?" His father was surprised on hearing such a question, but he decides that if he is old enough to ask the question, then he is old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to tell him all about the "birds and the bees." When he finished explaining, Suryapal was looking at him with his mouth hanging open. His father asked him, "Why did you ask this question?" Suryapal replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."

Suryapal-9

Suryapal was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the car shed and bring her the broom. Suryapal turned to his mother and said, "Mom, I don't want to go out there. It's dark." The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you." Suryapal looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?" "Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said. Suryapal thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"

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Suryapal-8

Suryapal was sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: Suryapal-"Dad..." Dad-"What?" Suryapal-"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a glass of water?" Dad-"No. You had your chance. Lights out." "Five minutes later......: Suryapal-"Da-aaad..." Dad-"WHAT?" Suryapal-"I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a drink of water??" Dad-"I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!" "Five minutes later... Suryapal-"Daaaa-aaaad..." Dad-"WHAT??!!" Suryapal-"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a glass of water?"

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